It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
