Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The adults are the big ones right?
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