I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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