Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
