Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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