one might say we're banned from that church
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize