So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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