My room smells like vodka and shame
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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