I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
