Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
