Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
