How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
