Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
