well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
