I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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