I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
