I want to stick my p in your. b.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
