Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
id be glad to
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
