I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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