lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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