I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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