I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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