Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
