I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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