You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
