Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
