Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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