you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
