this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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