well I can't set my house on fire every night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
