I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
