By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
