I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
