I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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