i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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