If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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