those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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