He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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