Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
