At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize