I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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