my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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