just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize