I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
