I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Randomize
