shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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