Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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