what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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