My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
