we have officially lost it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he thought i was a dude.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
