I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives