How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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