That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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