My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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